I Will Miss This

A couple of weekends ago I attended a baby shower for my friend, Colleen, and her son, Robbie, who is due in November. The shower was given by a few of my girlfriends from college, and it was beautiful down to every last detail. One of the decorations for the shower was an advice tree for Colleen. Since I have two boys of my own, you would think I would be brimming with useful tips. However, when presented with an advice card, I suddenly drew a blank. I wanted to give Colleen good advice, not just fluff that she could read in a baby book. I wanted to give her the holy grail of baby advice that only a mother of two little boys could give to a mommy-to-be. I shared two pieces of advice that were actually lessons that I learned from both of my boys. I happen to think they are helpful little tidbits:

1. Don't mess with nap time. Maybe it's just my kids, but sleep is important, and every time I have tried to skip a nap, let someone take a nap in the car, or woken someone up, I have lived to regret it. It is hard to have life revolve around nap time, especially when a baby is little and taking multiple naps each day, but it really is in everyone's best interest to stick with a schedule and not mess around with it. Amen!

2. Aim boy parts down when putting a new diaper on. This is a lesson I had to learn after changing many a sheet, outfit, etc. with Charlie. I was always stumped when I would find one of Charlie's legs to be soaking wet in an outfit, yet his diaper was dry. How was this even possible? I shared my mystery with a girlfriend one night, and she asked if I was pointing his boy parts down. Well, I'll be!

I was pretty happy with my advice, but as I thought more and more about it, I realized that the advice I really wanted to give Colleen would never fit onto a tiny advice card. It was something that I needed more room and time to explain, and so I am using the blog to share this advice with Colleen, all of my mommy friends, and the mommies-to-be. It is not an original thought, and I must give credit where credit is due. I had read a post on another blogger's site a few night's prior to the shower, and I was brought to tears when she shared a life changing moment that she had as a mother. I urge you to read her post, because she is an eloquent writer, and explains herself much better than I am about to do. Since reading her post, I have tried to remind myself every day that...I will miss this.

There are many days that I am counting down the hours and minutes to bedtime. It sounds awful, but it is true. Some days are just harder than others - Jack is fussy, Charlie is being a total toddler, laundry is piling up, I never had a chance to shower, bills need to be paid, etc. But in the midst of the chaos that is my life as a mother to two babies, I am filled with more love than I can ever explain. I have two little people who light up when they see me, want only me in the middle of the night or when they are hurt, and who beam when I praise them or play with them. I have two beautiful children who, all too soon, will be in school all day, and then driving, and then leaving for college, and then getting married. It may seem like that is far away in the future, but if you talk to any mom, you will always hear the same thing, "It seems like only yesterday...."

Yes, I have years and years ahead of me to love and be with Charlie and Jack. But it will go fast, and I want to be present in every one of those fleeting moments so that i never look back in regret. Because I will miss this. If my floor is dirty, then so be it. If the laundry is spilling out of the laundry room, who cares? Some day Charlie or Jack, maybe both, will not want me around. They might think I dress weird, talk weird, heck they might even despise the way I breathe. But, right now, they want to be with me and love me best. I am mommy, and that is sacred in their little worlds.

The author's advice resonated with me so deeply. When you are a mom, everyone always wants to hear how much you love it, how perfect your children are, and how you can't remember what life was like before having them. The fact is, all of those things are true...just not every second of the day. As a mom, you will get stressed out, you will wish that something was different, you will want bed time to come a little sooner. And that is okay. When times like that happen now, I remind myself that I will miss this. I will miss Charlie wanting to be held all the time, I will miss my cuddles with Jack in the middle of the night, I will miss hearing my name 100,000 times a day, I will miss being asked to sing "Old McDonald" with every animal on God's green earth (and the vacuum cleaner), I will miss being asked to sit in Charlie's chair for just a little longer while he goes to sleep, I will miss all of it!

So, that is my advice to all who read this blog...You will miss this. Cherish every moment, no matter how crazy, and be present in your little ones' lives. All too soon, they will be grown up and won't need you the way that they do now.