REWIND

Okay, so April was not the best month for blogging. I have wanted to sit down and update the blog numerous times, but I have been too tired to string the words together into a post. Tonight, I am looking back over the month and recapping what we have been up to. Please excuse any grammar or spelling errors. There was a lot to write about, and I may not have spent a lot of time proof reading (bad teacher). Hopefully, now that things appear to be settling down a bit, I will be able to update more often.

Jackson's Visit with the GI Specialist

We went to the GI specialist last Friday. After waiting for over and hour and a half, we met with the doctor. Some things really are worth the wait. Dr. Gold was so nice and sympathetic to what we have been going through with Jackson. He has GERD, and his daughter has it as well. He told me that he held her upright in his arms almost every night of her first year of life. He also told me that I had reason to be concerned about Jackson. Since I have a history of stomach problems, including acid reflux, he decided that further testing would be a good idea. It was not what I wanted to hear. I really hoped that he would tell me that Jackson was just a high needs baby and that I just needed to deal with the crying and fussiness. Further testing suddenly meant more worry - worry that something more serious is wrong and worry that I will be putting him through unnecessary and uncomfortable testing.



At the moment, I have Jackson scheduled for an Upper GI and something called a Swallow Test. But, after thinking about it for several days, I am going to cancel the Upper GI on Monday. The test requires that Jackson have a completely empty stomach, ingest Barium, and be given multiple x-rays. This means that he will be starving and miserable before and during the test. Not to mention that he might not even take the Barium because he is such a picky bottle baby. I just don't feel right about putting him through this stress. Of course I am nervous about this decision because it goes against the advice of the doctor. I have to go with my mommy instincts, and right now, they are telling me that it is not the time to do this test. I will revisit it later because I do want to make sure that he has not inherited any of the lovely problems that I have. But for the moment, he seems to be doing very well with his increased dose of Prevacid. If we can control the reflux with medicine, I would like to wait until he is a bit older before he is put through this test. Please pray that I have made the right decision for our baby boy.

Baby Talk

I adore hearing Jackson's sweet coos. Here he is having a good conversation with me one night. He was a little distracted by the camera at first, but he still had a lot to say.

We Have Another Thumb Sucker

I Love Music

Charlie has had his eye on Nick's iPod Nano ever since he got it for his birthday back in February. The other night, Nick let Charlie rock out to some Johnny Cash. Charlie tapped his foot to the beat and danced around the room. He looked like such a big boy dancing to the music, and Nick and I could not get enough of him.

The Price of Independance

Toddlers love to do things themselves. Charlie is no exception. He wants to comb his own hair, wash himself at bath time, put his diaper in the trash, and on this particular day, he wanted to put his shoes on all by himself. It all started off so innocent and sweet. In fact, I grabbed the camera to document Charlie's determination as he attempted to put his new shoes on. He got one shoe on with little effort, but the second one was not so easy. I let him try for a few minutes, and then I offered to help. He refused my assistance and continued to work at getting that last shoe on his foot. Suddenly, it took a very ugly turn. There is not need for details...the pictures say it all.

After about 45 minutes of crying, shoe throwing, wall kicking, and spitting, the fit finally came to an end. Oh dear! This is only the beginning of the toddler years. Please let me have the patience to handle these moments in the future!!!

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

Charlie loves to do what we do. It's very cute watching him try to do grownup tasks. Take this picture for example. Charlie is reading a book, having a little snack, and nursing his baby. Notice that he has everything set up perfectly...nursing pillow, burp cloth, shirt pulled up, and baby positioned correctly. Man, they really do pay attention to EVERYTHING!

Happy Easter

We had a wonderful Easter with both of our boys. The day started out with Charlie finding both Jackson's and his Easter baskets. He was thrilled to search through his basket, and really liked opening his eggs to discover chocolate. Hey, it isn't Easter if you can't have a little chocolate before breakfast, right?



Later that morning we headed over to Grandma and Grandpa's house for Easter brunch. As usual, my dad had enough yummy food to feed an army. We feasted on orange zest french toast, egg casserole, fruit salad, and mimosas. The boys both got Easter baskets from their grandparents and enjoyed some undivided attention. Charlie spent most of his time running around outside with Grandpa, and Jackson took a nice Easter nap in his swing while we ate. It was such a relaxing Easter, and we even got a chance to take a family picture.

Painting Easter Eggs

I was not sure that Charlie was old enough to dye eggs this Easter, but I knew he would be able to handle painting them. It was messy, but oh did he have a good time! After we painted our eggs, I gave Charlie some paper so that he could finger paint. He loved it, too! he must have had an itch, because he wiped his forehead at one point. I was so tickled by the paint on his face that I started to laugh. Well, Charlie loves to get a good laugh out of us, so he continued to paint his face. Probably not the best lesson to teach, and I am sure his preschool teachers will thank me in the future, but it was just too cute to stop. After all of the painting fun, he earned a trip to the shower to get hosed off.

Baby Jack is Three Months

Baby Jack, Jack Attack, Jackie, Pupp-a-doo, Pu-do...all names that Jackson has acquired over the last three months. I can't believe it has already been that long. The time is really going too quickly. Jackson is getting bigger and stronger every day, and I desperately want to keep him a tiny baby. I know all too well how quickly he is going to grow up, and despite our tough start, I really do wish he could stay a baby forever.

Jackson has the most beautiful smile and sweetest personality. He greets people with a big grin and loves to be talked to. After he eats, we usually have our best conversations. We go back and forth "talking" to each other, mostly saying "goo" over and over. It is one of my favorite times with him. I need to record our conversations soon so that I will always be able to listen to those beautiful sounds. Another fantastic sound that we heard for the first time two weeks ago was laughter. Jackson was sitting in his swing, and I was describing to Nick how Jackson thrashes around in his sleep and grunts. I was acting this out, and apparently Jack thought it was too funny. Please don't think that I have lost my mind if you see me grunting and throwing my head back and forth - I'll do just about anything to hear a baby laugh! I love how social Jackson has become. He squeals, shrieks, coos, goos, and ahhs all the time.

Baby Jack loves to stand and is doing so well supporting his weight. He is also getting better at holding his head up. He hates tummy time and will just bury his face in the ground and fuss. I hold him over my shoulder in order to help him strengthen his neck. Because of the reflux, Jack's time on the ground is limited. He spends a lot of time being held up-right, in his swing, or in a bouncy seat in order to help his tummy troubles. This will probably delay rolling over, but that is okay by me. I am in NO hurry to have him mobile.

Jackson has many loves. His favorite toy is a stuffed elephant. His face lights up when he sees it, and he kicks his little legs and flails his arms every time. Another love are his play mats. He can't spend too much time on them because he is on his back, but he really does enjoy his time staring up at the toys suspended above him. We put Jack in the Bumbo seat for the first time the other day, and I need to see if it will fit on the mats so that he can play while sitting up. Unlike most babies, Jackson likes to get his diaper changed and have his clothes put on. I think he really enjoys being able to see the person changing him and likes the feeling of being naked. Last, but not least, Jackson LOVES his swing. I think he would sit in it all day if we let him. He watches the mobile and mirror above his head and sits back and relaxes. Jack is a big fan of being around other people. He likes to be held and is not keen on being left alone for long. When he gets upset, we take him for walks around the house and let him look at the pictures that we have hanging on the walls. He seems to like contrasting colors. Another thing he likes to look at on ours walks is the mirror. He sure does like to look at himself and the person holding him.

What does Baby Jack hate, you might ask? One word - Car. How is it that I managed to produce the two babies who absolutely hate the car? Charlie screamed bloody murder for the better part of his first year, and Jackson is following suit with his brother. The mere act of placing him in the car seat sets him off. If we can keep moving continuously, there is a small glimmer of hope that we can keep him happy for a while. But, we have not had a tear free car ride in a long time.

Jackson got the all clear for thrush at the doctor on Monday, so we are still nursing. He gets one formula bottle before he goes down for the night. This seems to keep him full longer, and he has been sleeping for 6 hours, followed by 3 hour stretches. It is recommended that reflux babies sleep on a 30 degree angle. This is difficult in the crib because Jack either rolls to the side or slides down into his swaddle so that it covers his face. The only way to get him on such a high angle and keep him in one place is to let him sleep in his swing. So, that is where Baby Jack spends his nights. It is definitely not what I had envisioned for baby number two, but if it keeps him happy and out of pain, then I will do it as long as necessary. He does nap in his crib because I can monitor him and it is for a shorter time. He usually only naps for 30-45 minutes. I am trying to encourage him to stay awake longer during the day, but he still seems to get tired after 60-90 minutes of being awake. This means he still takes 5+ naps a day.

Reflux and Colic and Thrush...Oh, My!!!

Long time no see (or, should I say no post?). This last month Jackson's health has been my main priority, and the blog had to be put on hold for a while. The little man has been pretty unhappy. I happen to be his favorite person for TLC, so I have been busy taking care of him. With so many things causing him pain, it's hard to say what is really bothering him most. We have been to the doctor so many times (more than Charlie has been in 2 years), and I am trying not to get discouraged. I have to admit that I have been very down and have shed many tears about Jackson. Watching him cry and not being able to console him is the worst feeling in the world. What's even worse is the guilt that I feel for losing my patience with him. I know he is in pain, but it has been hard at times to keep my composure. I know that most of what ails him will just take time to pass, and I am so grateful that he does not have anything seriously wrong with him. I honestly do not know how parents of severely sick children cope. My heart goes out to all of them.

The main issues that we are still dealing with are reflux, thrush, and colic. I have seen improvements in all areas, and I am truly hopeful that in a month or so this will all be a bad memory. Here is the breakdown of where we stand with each one:

Thrush - Jackson and I can't seem to kick this nasty yeast infection. He was on a 10 day course of one med and then a 7 day course of a stronger med. Simultaneously, I was treated for 28 days with one med and then 5 days with a nasty solution that turned every article of clothing I wore and Jackson's lips purple. Even after all of that, I still had it. My doctor told me the next step was to take a break from nursing and to aggressively treat my infection for a week. So, Jackson had to learn to like a bottle and take formula in a day's time. It was a struggle at first, and he would only drink an ounce at each feeding. But he eventually gave in and did very well with bottles and formula. In fact, he slept 7 hours straight the first night. I treated myself with the nasty purple solution and pumped each time Jackson ate in order to keep my milk supply up. By day 6, I was in so much pain that I had to stop. I then spent the next 5 days healing from my treatment. By day 11 of not nursing, my supply was so low. I could not tell if the infection was truly gone, but I was scared that if I did not start nursing, I might not be able to ever again. So, I made the decision to resume nursing last Friday. I have felt much better, but I am still experiencing some discomfort. Jackson is not showing any symptoms.

Colic - Shortly after he turned one month, Jackson started freaking out at night. 5 o'clock was the dreaded time in our house. He would cry uncontrollably and for no apparent reason. It usually started after I fed him or if he woke up around that time. His fussiness would last until 8 or 9 o'clock when he would fall asleep swaddled tightly with the hair dryer blasting. I am happy to say that our nights have gotten much better in the last two weeks. But, Jackson has become fussy during the day. He will be smiling and playful one minute and crying hysterically the next. It's sad because there is no way to predict what will set him off, and it is so hard to calm him down. He pushes away if you hold him close and gets so worked up that he starts choking and gagging on his saliva.

Reflux - We saw immediate results once we were started Jackson on his third prescription of antacid. But, his symptoms never completely went away. The last three days he has been fussier than normal. Today, he cried so much and so intensely that I thought something serious had to be wrong. I was so scared after he cried for basically 4 hours straight that I called Children's Healthcare of Atlanta to see if they thought I should bring him in. The nurse on the advice line heard Jackson screaming in the background and told me that I definitely needed to bring him in. So, off we went to spend two and a half hours at CHOA urgent care. Based on his symptoms, the doctor there told me that I should take Jackson into a GI specialist. His reflux is just not under control, and we need to figure out why and what to do next. I don't want to go to the specialist because I am fearful of what types of tests they will run on my little man. I don't want to put him through anything that isn't necessary, but watching him suffer the way he did today was awful. We have to go to our pediatrician on Monday to get a referral to the specialist. Hopefully, we will be able to get an appointment some time next week so that we can get this reflux in check.

So, that is where we are...getting better in some areas and having some setbacks in others. Please keep little Jackson in your thoughts and prayers. I know that underneath all of this illness, there is a happy, smiley little baby who can't wait to feel better.